General Hockey

Something New


by Todd Wyant

Of all games you would think I’d have some semblance of an interest to watch, naturally, you’d think I would find a way to get home to watch Buffalo vs Pittsburgh. I made no such effort, instead I chose to work on my forth coming tattoo from a Non-NHL Team sanctioned Shop, conveniently owned by family. That being said, I’ve seen the final score and have ascertained a variety of issues that clearly need to be addressed by Ray Shero, by conveniently checking the Gurus of Social Media.

The Issues:

  1. Marc Andre Fleury apparently is a terrible goalie who should be imprisoned on the 7th Circle of Hell for eternity for giving up a goal on a 2 on 0 breakaway. Hey, John Curry is keeping in shape over in Europe and the last I knew Alex Pechurskiy still had a pulse somewhere on this planet.
  2. Kris Letang sucks – I am sure Sergei Gonchar would gladly accept a trade back to Pittsburgh at this point in time, and past that, let’s get back and see if Kevin Hatcher is available for another experimental phase.
  3. Oh Yes, Jordan Staal hit the net before he could be swiftly traded since missing the net against Washington. I assume that the “Trade Staal” chants have died down for at least 10 minutes.
  4. “Insert some remark about Malikn not playing again here”
  5. James Neal really sucked without a superstar center last year.

Now this is the typical rhetoric following every Penguins loss, and tonight I am going on total speculation and a few glances at a few remarks given by a select few. The insight was so intense and detailed that it wasn’t long before I realized that all social media is run by NHL general managers. I’ve narrowed it down to the inner circle of evil:

and last, but not least:

I could be wrong, but perhaps the NHL is missing out on natural analyst talent or social media really is run by those five “former NHL GMs”. Then again, I could actually be Mike Milbury in this scenario…… excuse me, I’ve got to take this call from another classic underachiever, see you later…


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