General Hockey

Taking the Mother Joke to New Places

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By Todd Wyant

If you have ever played any organized sports in your lifetime, you understand the brutality of locker room chat. It’s all about busting on each other in such mean fashion to see who gets upset first. I guess it’s like a game of “chicken”, he who flinches first loses. As depicted in the films such as :”Stand By Me” or “Remember the Titans”, the mother joke is the most common metric used when measuring the “best” of insults.

What happens when you mix some truth into the insult?

As I rolled into my usual routine this morning, I stumbled upon this article.

A hockey mom that has had sex with her son’s teammates… Yeah, even I had to put my head down and think about it for a minute.

Thoughts after reading the article:

1. Imagine being the son and have to listen to your teammates take the “I ****** your mom”  shots to all new levels of rage

2. Mothers who claim to have intuition about what their sons are doing: Trust me when I say, you don’t know even 15% of what your son is up to at any given time. It’s always a safe bet to assume that your son is a horndog as a teenager, because they are.

3. Teenage boys brag about EVERY conquest, it’s ok… it’s a Rite of Passage that we all go through. It’s not right, but it happens.

4. Imagine being the kid who finally broke down and admitted the events to his mother. Boys don’t admit that kind of thing to their mothers EVER. You can safely bet on the fact that he was cross examined by his folks when too many boys started bragging and word got out.

5. Do you think the boy that was cross examined felt like he was in a bad episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit? Lord knows after having to deal with that, I’d want to go play videogames with Ice T when it’s all over.

6. Once again this woman’s son is now condemned to a life of being owned by his buddies and there is not a thing he can do about it other than get past it mentally, and that’s going to require a pretty good amount of therapy.

I don’t want to take any real soap box stance here other than asking who is going to help the sexual predator’s own son and how much therapy he is going to require now that this story has hit the national level of reporting.  I coach youth soccer and help teach martial arts to children and constantly find myself in a dilemma of trying to understand what kids that I coach are going through on a daily basis. However, if I ask too many questions as a “stranger”, then I get suspected for being a predator for trying to help out.

In short, if you have kids or are planning to have them, you should always remember how difficult life was for you as a child and then again how difficult it was to be a teenager. Kids are always going to be brutal to each other and that’s not going to change, and living in the internet age only amplifies this problem. A parent can’t solve every problem that a child will have, but it’s important to NOT be one of the problems to begin with. Be a mentor, Be proactive, and ask a lot of questions. Invest your time in your children, it’s the best investment you will ever make in your life and always remember, they are going to control what “home” you will be placed in eventually.

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5 Comments

  1. Gunner Staal

    September 21, 2011 at 8:35 am

    I can only imagine the carnage that would take place in one of my locker rooms from that aftermath, good God.

  2. Profile photo of Brian Metzer

    Brian Metzer

    September 21, 2011 at 8:43 am

    Tell me about it. I went to a all boys high school… Central Catholic in Pittsburgh. It was out of hand…guys were ruthless with their comments. Most of us just let it roll off of our backs, while the guys who took it to heart would get killed!

    Can’t believe the number of situations like this that have popped up as of late.

    Metz

  3. Gunner Staal

    September 21, 2011 at 8:52 am

    Yeah but most kids know the insults are hollow, imagine knowing that there was truth on one of them, that mother hates her son.

  4. Walshy

    September 22, 2011 at 7:58 am

    That is crazy…..

    I’m trying to
    Get my head
    Around
    It….

  5. ixnay8

    September 23, 2011 at 4:00 pm

    I have a somewhat unique approach to dealing with this. Whenever somebody would say something about my mom, I would reply with something twice as bad…also about my mom. The response was usually a mix of laugher and stunned silence. Show those boys that nobody can burn your mom like you can then they usually don’t even bother.